dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
