I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize