i just had sex bonerless
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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