Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
