Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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