My balls are so social today.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
