My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
