someone get that fucking seahorse.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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