Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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