plz talk dirty to me
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
