i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
