I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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