Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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