i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize