I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
