there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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