i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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