boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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