Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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