The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
