I got chris browned last night
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
