Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
