my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
