You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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