please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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