So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
