Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
