About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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