i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
