Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize