apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
