I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Screwed.edu
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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