I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
