if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
