All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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