:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
