see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
