thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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