we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
