Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
