hotel room ftw
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
