did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
