Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
