Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
