I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
