This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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