**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Duck Duck Cougar?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
