I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
