And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
