Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
