You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize