I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
