yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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