you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
