FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize