can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
