it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
