Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
