dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
