Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think my vagina is haunted
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The air taste purple.
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