how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
