I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
