someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
