I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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